


I Am Sorry, Beth

by AAluminium



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Beth Washington - Freeform, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Gen, Reading, Until Dawn - Freeform, hannah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAluminium/pseuds/AAluminium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does it feel - to be lost and alone in the night?..</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Sorry, Beth

Hannah woke up at the feeling of icy water that used to store somewhere under the ceiling, was constantly dripping upon her face sliding from her cheek to the neck.

“Beth? Beth, are you here?” the girl called in a low voice, trying to sit down. She felt a searing pain, but couldn’t understand if any bone was broken: the body seemed to hurt all over, so it was rather hard to say if something was injured. “Beth? Beth!”

She vaguely remembered what had occurred to her: the brightest memory stuck in her mind was that terribly mocking laughter of Jessica who had invented such a nice joke, and Emily’s trilling guffaw, who must have found the prank the funniest thing in the world… Sam’s and Beth’s voices, the shut of slamming doors, the flash of flame there in the forest – everything mingled in a motley splash of colours. She remembered something better than everything else – the falling itself, squeaking of the breaking branch, Beth’s scream, a wet thud and then – darkness. And now Hannah couldn’t even get her head around what had happened to Beth. Maybe she was exploring the place? It’s quite possible, why not? Someone must be looking for them, so Beth heard the voices from the outside and…

All of a sudden, her hazy stare found a fragile figure lying nearby. The black-haired head was thrown back; the unseeing eyes were gazing at the ceiling of the mine, and the body wrenched at unnatural angles, made everything clear: Beth will never go anywhere. Her spine was broken and the neck was twisted.

“B-beth?! Beth, please, tell you you’re… B-beth!” whispering with her lips, Hannah was barely able to suppress tears, yet trying to reach for the cooling body with her trembling hand. “Beth… Sister… No…”

Fighting her feelings and panic flowing over her, the girl crawled towards the corpse and started calling out her name, still cherishing hope of the sister’s awakening. Maybe she was fine and couldn’t open her eyes – because of the hard whack.

“P-please… Say som-mething… Pleas-se… W-wake up…” Hannah was clattering her teeth, pleading Beth to open her eyes. “Please… You w-won’t leave alone here, w-will you? Beth, Beth!”

Despair, flowing over her like a huge storm wave, exhausted her: having survived in such a horrible falling, Hannah felt absolutely lost and isolated. She couldn’t even stand up: any effort she put into getting up was followed by exquisite pain, and, overcoming her own nature, the elder Washington sister collected herself to take a step forward to find a possible exit which was some yards away from Beth’s body.

The shock Hannah experienced was impossible to express in words: dread, pain, panic – just a medley of inexpressible emotions, which a cornered animal would feel noticing a circle of hunters around. She tried hard not to glance in the direction of her perished sister – but at the same time she came across a rubble Beth must have hit against: there was a bright reddish brown stain upon it. To get isolated from the reality, she closed her eyes: but it all was in vain, as the distorted by death face immediately appeared in her mind’s eye. It was impossible to fall asleep either: every time she tried to doze off, she imagined those mocking smirks of her “friends”, once decided to play such a nasty trick. If not for Jessica and Emily having a very bad sense of humour, nothing would happen at all! She wouldn’t run away to the forest, Beth wouldn’t follow her, they wouldn’t see this flash of flame, and they would never – never! – rush to the precipice and fall down! Nobody would be hurt – they would just be discussing the latest news, sipping beer. But why, why has is happened to them?

The girl whimpered and wrapped Beth’s jacket tighter around her body. It was impossible to believe that Beth was dead… Look, she’s here, lying on the floor, looking… accusingly, disapprovingly, with the same grin as Jess had… No, that was not her lovely sister – it’s just some kind of monster, pretending to be Beth.

“Beth”, moaned Hannah, still cherishing hope of her sister to respond to the call. “Please…”

No miracle happened. Overcoming the overwhelming dread, cold and panic, Hannah suddenly managed to fell asleep – and that was a restless, heavy and sticky like fish squama feeling, yet it seemed to be helping, saving. Even if she had to go through that terrible joke again and again, she would never face her sister’s death one more time. Mike, Emily and Jess could humiliate her as many times as they wanted – she was ready to be belittled if it meant not to see the stare of those lifeless and hazy eyes one more time.

The awakening was formidable: cold chained the girl’s limbs, not wanting to set her free. Hunger appeared for the first time – but the mind, which had coped up with the corpse lying nearby, calmly analyzed the situation. Panic had vanished as it was replaced by despair: the mines had been abandoned for about fifty years, and it won’t dawn upon somebody to explore such a maze. Even if there is a braveheart ready to look for the sisters, they would immediately get lost in the labyrinth. Well, she still had some hope: if her leg recovers soon, Hannah will be able to move out of the cave. But another thought brought her down: she had no idea how much time it could take – so she will have to starve to death.

Fought the disgust and terror, Hannah, barely able to base herself upon the injured leg, started dragging Beth’s corpse to the farthest corner of the mine where a simple grave could be arranged. Using a key found in a pocket, the girl scratched out Beth’s name on some plank – and placed it over the hillock like a cross. Having spent some moments near the tomb, she touched the ground and sighed.

“I am sorry, Beth. That’s… th-that’s because of me. I am t-to blame”.

Distant echo of a dripping water made the girl give a start: it brought her terrible memories of awakening. It should have been her; Hannah should have broken all the bones and died in that formidable mine, not Beth – anyway, Michael did not care about her, and all the so-called “friends” interact with her just because she was Josh’s relative. They didn’t give a darn who she was and what she was – a mere laughingstock, nothing more.

Hannah whimpered and rummaged through the pockets of the jacket. In one of them she managed to find a thin notebook and a pencil – God knows why Beth has taken them with her. At least it could help her kill the time: maybe someone would find her in a while. She’s not so far from the outside, as she’s able to see the light; now it’s snowing… And the wind is sweeping snowflakes in a huge gust. Once upon the time the three of them – Josh, Beth and Hannah herself – were playing snowballs: Mom and Dad seemed to stay at home having tea, and Hannah managed to drop a snowball at her brother – and hit him in the head. He grinned wide, adjusted his knocked down beanie and pointed to Beth with a slight nod who was hiding in the bushes – so the siblings made a tacit pact with each other and attacked the sister, tumbling her down into the snow. The parents gave them a good scold for the torn jackets and lost beanies, but the all aglow faces with sly smiles upon them clearly demonstrated that they children did not repent and were intending to repeat the game: in the winter, they became absolutely uncontrollable, and the tricks were getting more and more risky – yet exciting and interesting. They imagined themselves to be either spies or brave warriors – or turned into scouts, ready to capture the enemy – that usually was Beth, who thought herself to be able to resist two fighters simultaneously… Dear Beth…

Now it all became the thing of the past, and this day divided her life in two parts. Even if she survives and doesn’t starve to death, even if she’s found – her sister won’t be resurrected. Beth will stay here, in the eerie and sinister mine, stuffed with planks, steel beams, mine tubs and building trash…

And the hunger was growing and increasing inside her stomach, twisting it round with a cold hand. Hannah tried to fight it by writing a diary: she was describing her monotonous days, arranging some kind of lodging in a niche nearby the place they had fallen down – and kept trying to fall asleep. She was ready to attack any living creature not feeling disgust, but not a single rat poked its nose in that part of the tunnel. The more she lived here, the faster she got used to the cave, going mad at the loneliness, despair, hunger and thirst – and hope grabbing her by the throat with tears. Hannah started thinking of the single possible way out, which was sure to be blasphemous and sacrilegious there on the surface, outside, among people.

It was the first time she was seriously pondering over cannibalism – Beth’s body, slightly covered with dust and earth, seemed to be the only way to survive: the longer she lives, the more odds she has to be dug out of the mines. Even if policemen cannot hear her screams while looking for her, she will be able to crawl in the direction of the possible exit: she will break her nails while grabbing stones, scratch her skin and overstrain her voice in order just to come across a human being. She heard quiet steps, called for help, cried out – but her voice was drowning in the monotonous gusts, snowstorm and cracking snow. Hannah was too weak and famished to scream out loud – she had no energy even to open her eyes.

The thirtieth day was the point of no return.

Fighting herself, terror and disgust towards such a prosaic and simple feeling as hunger, to this calling of flesh and organism, Hannah understood that she wouldn’t live a day longer if she didn’t do anything. And the only thing she could do about it was absolutely unacceptable, horrifying, shocking yet simple – but she had to resort to that. She had to.

“Beth, I’m sorry. I am so sorry, Beth! SORRY!” she cried out, with unhuman avidity and eagerness digging out the half-decayed corpse, where white small words were already seen. “I’m s-sorry… I cannot… I’m dying… Do you understand… do you?.. I’m dying,” Hannah muttered breaking her nails against the frozen soil. “I have no choice! Would you do the same? Would you? Tell me, would you do this? Beth, sorry, Beth… I am sorry, I’m a… a… a monster! I know I am…”

Hannah didn’t even noticed her teeth dug into the frosted flesh. She was like a wild animal tearing piece of skin apart, ripping muscles away, gnawing every single bone, while murmuring something about being sorry, making apologies. The girl literally felt turning into a predator; she was sensing her own teeth piercing into the raw meat coming across the bones. All of sudden, disgust disappeared: it gave place a terribly calm satiation; a peaceful feeling of satiety filled her body – and the fear vanished completely. Having gnawed her sister’s arm like the worst kind of a dog, Hannah decided not to look at what she’d just done to Beth: the girl sucked in her breath and dragged the remains back sure it was enough for today. 

When realization stuck her in the head, Hannah felt sick – she vomited, and she seemed to feel better; then an exhaustive hysterics followed, scrabbling in the diary, hatred to herself, scratching hands and crying – but from day to day the girl was becoming quieter and quieter. The meal was getting more and more ordinary, commonplace; her teeth got used to ripping the meat apart. She paid no attention to the fact that once it was her dear sister, safe and sound and now lying here, with her head cut off. With strange indifference, Hannah submitted a frightening desire of consuming human flesh – that taste was now needed; it was like water for a thirsty traveller in a desert. The girl felt turning into something gruesome and hideous, but even the dropped out nails – pushed away by the organism itself – she accepted as some special sort of allergy. Her mind obscured; her memories erased; at times she could make out familiar pictures but the more she noticed it, the rarer she saw Josh’s, Beth’s or Mike’s faces.

Beth’s name was disappearing from the pages of the diary. But another word was becoming frequent – “hunger” it was; all-absorbing, all-consuming, unappeasable, wild and uncontrollable, and only human flesh could satisfy her hunger. Only once in the lurid eyes a tear gleamed – at the sight of the dead Beth’s face, barely keeping human features.

“I’m s-sorry, B-beth. I am… I am a monster”.

Hannah did not remember anything. Blood lust had captured her body and the shattered pieces of the soul she once had. The word “HUNGER” scratched on the last page, soaked into her, penetrated inside her, and burned out all the reminiscences. Hannah did not exist anymore. There was only something wild and dangerous – the creature named “wendigo”.


End file.
